The internet is on fire this week over Quinn's latest celebrity collab — Yes, Chef, narrated by The Pitt's Shawn Hatosy, dropped in full today and the group chats have fully gone feral. (If you know, you know. If you don't, Quinn is the audio erotica app everyone you know is quietly subscribing to.) Which feels like the right moment to talk about another thing we've been collectively rediscovering the pleasure of: the long, hot, deeply indulgent shower.
Call it self-care, call it self-love, call it a standing date with the body you live in. It's a little sexy, a little risqué and it answers to absolutely no one but you. No camera, no performance, no grade. Just you, hot water, and the excellent luxury of being unreachable for forty-five minutes.
Three ways to set up a very good evening, below.
1. The Long Hot One
The kind of shower that goes long, runs hot, and leaves you blushing, boneless, and smelling expensive, a forty-five-minute affair with your own body and the water bill be damned.
Before the water, get undressed and pick up the Dry Brush. Work upward from the ankles, stroking your calves, thighs, stomach in circles, chest, throat. Dry brushing sounds fake and feels real. Two minutes and your skin is brighter, warmer, awake.
Turn the water on. Hot. Before you step in, scatter a handful of Dead Sea Salt Mineral Bath across the tub floor. The stream turns it into a mineral fog that fills the room. Step in. Relax the shoulders that have been up to your ears since morning.
Then grab the Silicone Back Brush. The long handle reaches every inch of your back that your arms can't. Drag it slowly across your shoulder blades, down your spine, into the small of your back. Lean into it. Most people have never felt this and don't know what they're missing.
Cut the water before you want to. Don't bother drying off…damp skin drinks lotion like crazy. Work Dream Silk Comfort Cream into the collarbones, the wrists, the backs of the knees. Both hands. No rush.
2. The Quickie Clean
A play on quick and dirty, except the dirty part is optional and the quick part is the whole appeal. For the nights when you still want to feel like you did something for yourself, but the time is not on your side.
Ten minutes, max. Doable between a work thing and a dinner thing. You're not cutting corners so much as just being efficient about the parts that matter.
Skip the dry brush tonight. Straight into hot water. Reach for Aloe Vera Soothing Gel right at the start and put it on your face and neck while everything else warms up. Cool green gel, hot water, steam. A five-second reset.
Lather up with your usual body wash and a 7" Loofah, moving fast but not frantic. The point is to still feel like a human, not a carwash. Hit the essentials.
Jump out and towel down. Again, apply Anti-Stress Massage Lotion while you're still damp. Cream sinks in faster, smells better, carries you through the night. You're out the door glowing. Anyone who sees you assumes you spent an hour on yourself.
3. The Slow Burn
For the nights you want to do something entirely for yourself. No reason, no camera, no audience. The kind of shower that ends with you moving a little differently when you finally step out. Nobody has to know.
Start the water as hot as you can handle. Reach for Charcoal Purifying Body Wash. The dark lather, satisfying, dramatic down a wet body. Take your time with the shoulders, ribcage, stomach, hips, thighs.
Follow with Charcoal Exfoliating Scrub on the places that never get special attention like the nape of the neck under your hair, under the collarbones, the hipbones, the small of the back. Slow circles. Nobody has ever paid this much attention to you, including you.
Sit down right in the shower. Just try it! No one’s looking. Let the water fall, the steam rise, and being seated in a hot shower rewires the whole thing. From down there, work Tea Tree Oil Cooling Foot Scrub into the arches. Cooling Tea Tree on hot skin is a small pleasurable shock.
Stand up. Water off. Dream Silk Comfort Cream everywhere, ending at the pulse points including wrists, behind the ears, the hollow of the throat, so that later, face on the pillow, you catch your own skin and remember where you've been.
A few notes:
Take the time. Press harder than feels polite. Moisturize on damp skin. Leave the phone outside…better yet, turn it off. The body you're in today is the one you've got.
After you’re squeaky clean, queue up something hot and spicy to listen to on Dipsea, Libby, Audible, or Quinn's latest release. We hear there’s #whimpering.
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